rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
