Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
