I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
