If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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