dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
