I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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