My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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