You're my little dorito
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
