You're my little dorito
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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