he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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