At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
