I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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