Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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