she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
