He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
