Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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