Sacagawea was the original milf.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
don't judge my taste in strippers
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
