you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize