Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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