Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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