Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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