That's intense
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
