I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
