We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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