I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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