It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
