Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Randomize
