guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
