is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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