btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
