I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
