while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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