just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
