FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
