"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
