dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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