I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
