I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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