the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
