She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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