Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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