Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
