that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
