i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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