All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
