I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
