They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
