So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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