Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just threw up on my dentist
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
