I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
