i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
