Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
