Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
