His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
