Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
