before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
