girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
