Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
