the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is Oprah even human
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